He Is Still Good: Holding Grief with Hopeful Lament

Grief doesn’t just hurt — it rearranges a person. In this episode, host Heather Winchell is joined by writer and counselor Kirsten Black, who invites listeners into honest conversation about grief, suffering, and the faithful wrestle of believing God is good when life doesn’t feel kind.

Kirsten shares how writing became both a lifeline and a way of shepherding others through sorrow after the loss of her son, Ezra. Together, they talk about the difference between having a theology of suffering and actually walking through it, why “not grieving as those without hope” doesn’t mean grief gets smaller, and how the kindest thing someone can do for a grieving friend is often simply be present.

The conversation also gets practical: boundaries with the news, the “bullseye” of emotional energy, solitude and silence as healing, and what it looks like to extend grace when people grieve in very different ways.

In this episode:

• How Kirsten’s writing began (nonprofit blog ➝ CaringBridge during Ezra’s leukemia journey)
• What it means to wrestle with God and stay tethered to hope
• “Theology of suffering” vs. being met by Jesus in suffering
• The question underneath the question: worshiping God for who He is vs. what He does
• Grief with hope ≠ less grief (it’s grief that isn’t hopeless)
• The “bullseye” framework for emotional energy and why boundaries are loving
• Tools for grieving: solitude, silence, reading when prayer feels impossible
• Helping others: cling like Ruth, don’t lecture like Job’s friends
• When grief styles collide in families (looking back vs. looking forward)

Recommended resources:

• Seasons of Sorrow — Tim Challies
• Piercing Heaven (Puritan prayers in modern language)
• Gentle and Lowly — Dane Ortlund

Shout-out (Thanks for Doing That)

• Patrick Richardson — illustrator/designer IG: @januarybegan

Catch more of the story @thanks.for.doing.that.podcast!